Reborn [1]

Have You ever felt the “galau” moment? for the last one year, August 2013 to September 2014, I’ve truly felt it. I didn’t know who I am. I didn’t know what my character is. I didn’t know why I made a lot of controversial, anti mainstream, and absurd decision, (according to what people said).

You feel like a garbage, trash, or such a bad thing that has to be deleted from the world. OMG, that’s the most difficult moment of my life.

I didn’t have friend, unless them, My best friends. 3 people. Arbi, Reza, dan Ririn. At that moment, I felt what friends for. I can share with them, talk to them, all the problem. Sometimes, your friend can’t give any solution for your problem, but, It helps much. Really. Sometimes, You just need to talk and share. You just need a good listener for your problems.

But for me, It didn’t help, still status quo condition. Galau, disappointed, and all bad feelings. A lot of people, my parents, my aunts, my uncles, my grandmother has advised me, given solutions & recommendations. Does it help? No.

For the last one year, I didn’t know what to do, I lost my life vision and mission, and almost being dropped out from the university. Can You imagine it? There, outside, Perhaps, a lot of people are in the worse condition than mine, but, I couldn’t do and say anything facing my problem. Everyone has their acceptance level of problem faced by them. I think.

I tried to make a good and comfortable condition for my soul, then, I went to Daarut Tauhiid Boarding School in Bandung. I stayed there for one month. Learning a lot of Islamic subjects, doing a lot of Islamic habits, and many useful things for better life. Do they help? No. It’s just a temporer good condition.

Yeah… I didn’t know what to do. My parents have been disappointed. I did know exactly what they felt. But, I still didn’t know what to do.

To be continued..